


For A Minute There, I Lost Myself

by mizuanna



Category: Venom (Comics), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Angst and Feels, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I tried my best but uhhh I'm not good at this haha, M/M, One Shot, Panic Attacks, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Venom comforts Eddie, Venom tries to help Eddie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 22:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16606286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mizuanna/pseuds/mizuanna
Summary: "We can sense your emotions. There is-"Venom hesitated, allowing a tense silence to fill the room. He seemed to almost hum with nervous energy."...crying. You are crying, Eddie."The dark thoughts were always worse at night.--------------------Eddie has a rough night, and Venom does his best to help him through it.





	For A Minute There, I Lost Myself

**Author's Note:**

> _***TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ANXIETY/PANIC ATTACKS***_
> 
> If these things trigger you, then I would not recommend reading this fic. Stay safe, kids.
> 
> So this just kind of...happened. It definitely has a much darker theme than my other series (the ceiling fan x venom crackfic), but I really wanted to explore a different side of Eddie's character. I also just wanted to write some symbrock, okay, pleasedontjudgeme-
> 
> _Edit: RIP Stan Lee. You will be remembered. Thank you for everything._

The dark thoughts were always worse at night.

They filtered through the unstable walls of Eddie’s mind, seeping into his consciousness and poisoning him with feelings of misery and sadness _and hatred and-_

And there they were. The most miserable, terrifying thoughts of all, crammed into a forgotten corner of his brain. They spoke in sweet, gentle whispers, but carried a weight that simply couldn’t be ignored.

What if...

What if he...ended it? 

What if he just-

**“Eddie. What is happening?”**

Venom. Eddie looked in the general direction of the voice (it was somewhere around his shoulder), unable to see it’s owner within the darkness of their bedroom. His mind scrambled for something, _anything_ , that he could say to appease the symbiote, but his vocal cords refused to work. Everything refused to work.

 **“We can sense your emotions. There is-"** Venom hesitated, allowing a tense silence to fill the room. He seemed to almost hum with nervous energy. **“...crying. You are crying, Eddie.”**

What the hell? He wasn’t-

A bone rattling sob suddenly tore it’s way out of his throat before he could stop it. His hand flew to his face, making contact with the tears that he didn’t even realize were there.

His other hand rose slowly to his mouth, covering it. This wasn’t happening. This could not be happening.

**“Eddie.”**

He was supposed to be strong, but in reality, he was the epitome of weakness.

**“Stop, Eddie. Pain. Hurts. It hurts, but we don’t have any wounds? What is happening?”**

He was pathetic. Couldn’t even get a grip on his own emotions. Hell, even Venom had noticed that something was wrong. Eddie knew that he had to pull himself together, and soon, or the symbiote would become even more agitated. Besides, this was all his own mess to begin with-

**“Listen! You are not listening, Eddie! What do we do? You are in distress. There is pain. How do we make it go away?”**

But Eddie was buried deep within the chasms of his mind, too far away to hear Venom’s concerned voice. 

A black tendril snaked out towards him, but Eddie jerked away violently as it touched his hands. His hands, the same ones that were covering his face, and he was curled into himself at the very corner of the bed _anditwastoomuchtoomuchtoomuch-_

Slowly, _very_ slowly, the tendril returned to his arm. It hesitated before moving and settling itself against Eddie’s trembling shoulders. 

This time, he didn't flinch.

The touch was as light as a feather, almost tentative, as if it wasn’t sure that it’s presence was allowed.

**“Eddie…”**

And the dam broke.

Eddie couldn’t remember much of anything that took place within the next few moments. Nothing really made any sense. All he knew was that there was pain, like an icy hot knife being twisted slowly into his gut, and he was crying, and there was snot covering his face, _oh god he was a mess-_

But there was something else, too. Movement, as he was gently pulled against something solid. Tendrils of inky darkness curled around his shaking form, causing a sense of security to wash over him. He leaned into the embrace, grateful for it’s stability.

A lone tendril brushed against his hands and nudged them away from his face. The whispers of darkness within his mind were replaced with muttered words of encouragement, sending him thoughts of safety, warmth, comfort, adoration, **love** , and promises of _so much more._

Eddie took a deep breath.

**“Safe, Eddie. We are safe, calm. We will make this pain go away. Won’t let it bother you. Let us help, Eddie.”**

The next few minutes seemed to pass in a similar manner: Venom held Eddie close, and Eddie poured all of his waning energy into their shared bond, focusing on the soothing feelings that the symbiote was sending his way.

When he finally managed to calm down enough to control his breathing, Eddie’s whole body stiffened as he realized what had just happened.

“V, I’m- I’m so sorry, you weren’t supposed to see...that.” He fidgeted awkwardly, embarrassed at the whole situation that had unfolded. Why did he even-

**“No.”**

A spike of confusion budded in Eddie’s mind. “What?”

**“Don’t say that you’re sorry.”**

Eddie closed his eyes and sighed. “You don’t understand. This whole mess was bad to begin with, but now I’ve gone and dragged you into _my_ shit-“

Venom growled and shifted Eddie, so that they were facing each other. The symbiote’s opal eyes glistened with something unidentifiable.

**“We, Eddie. We are together now. Us. You are no longer alone anymore.”** Venom moved closer. **“We need you. Let us help you, give you strength. We will keep you safe...even if we must protect you from yourself.”**

The statement seemed to shock them both, as neither of them were able to speak for a few moments. A tear trailed slowly down Eddie’s cheek, only to be wiped away by one of Venom’s tendrils.

Eddie shook his head and glanced at the symbiote.

“It ain’t gonna be that easy, V. _Shit-_ you sure you don’t wanna get outta here while you still can? Or, _hell_ , try to find a new host?”

If possible, Venom moved even closer, tilting his head in what could only be described as amusement. **“No, Eddie. We are as you’ve said many times before. The two halves of a whole idiot.”**

Eddie chuckled wetly, filling the space between them with mirth. Their shared bond practically sang with shared happiness and contentment.

With Venom, he felt whole. It was as if a piece of his life, that he hadn’t even realized was missing, was slowly shifted back into place. The daily aches and pains that he had dealt with for years, both physically and mentally, suddenly hurt less than ever before.

But there, in the back of his mind, the pain still lingered. It was like an old friend, turned into a bitter enemy. An echoing remnant of sadness, flickering wildly like a flame being starved of oxygen. A truly bittersweet thing.

Of course, Eddie didn’t expect his inner turmoil to just vanish. That wasn’t how it worked, sadly. But from this point on, he didn’t have to hide it anymore. He could confront and acknowledge it, knowing that he had someone who cared for him to help him through it.

They would face this. Together.

 **“Eddie?”** Venom said quietly.

“Yeah?”

**“....love you.”**

“Love you too, V.”

_Because they, were Venom._

**Author's Note:**

> The title of this fic comes from the song "Karma Police", by Radiohead. I'm sure most of you have listened to it before haha.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! 
> 
> **Also:** _If you ever feel depressed/have suicidal thoughts, try not to keep those feelings bottled up inside. The road to recovery is rough, and might even feel impossible sometimes, but just remember that it's something worth fighting for. You have a purpose in this world._


End file.
